Will 7-Eleven Help Terminate Donald Sterling’s NBA Franchise?

(UnhappyFranchisee.Com)  Millionaire attorney Richard Quick, Esq. has reached out to both NBA commissioner Adam Silver and 7-Eleven, Inc. CEO Joseph DePinto to propose a partnership that will expedite termination of Donald Sterling’s ownership of the LA Clippers franchise.

The NBA has banned franchise owner Donald Sterling from all league activities and seeks to terminate Sterling’s ownership of the NBA franchise due to Sterling’s racist comments that have been repeatedly broadcast to ever man, woman and child in the Western world.

However, the billionaire will likely wage an expensive and protracted court battle against the NBA.

In the letter to Adam Silver below, Richard Quick, Founding Partner of the law firm Quick, Duhk & Hyde and Franchisor Blogger at UnhappyFranchisee.Com, proposes that the NBA hire 7-Eleven’s elite franchisee termination team to dispatch Sterling with impunity.

QUICK, DUHK & HYDE

Attorneys at Law

Adam Silver

Commissioner

The National Basketball Association

645 Fifth Ave.

New York, NY 10022

May 1, 2014

Mr. Silver:

I know that you are communicating with the NBA owners’ advisory/finance committee with the goal of ousting Donald Sterling as an NBA franchise owner as soon as possible. As a powerful and wealthy man myself, and one who travels in the same circles as Mr. Sterling, I can assure you that the big man will not give up his franchise without a fight. He will battle you in Federal court. He will get injunctions. He will create as expensive, messy and protracted a battle as he can muster.

With all due respect, Mr. Silver, you have no experience in terminating franchise owners and are no match for Mr. Sterling. You are out of your depth.

For a job like this, you need highly trained specialists with a very particular set of skills. You need a team experienced in franchise terminations… a team that can strike fast with cold efficiency and precision… a team that can, in a single day, seize a franchise that took decades to build and leave the dazed owner wondering where his investment and livelihood just disappeared to…

Mr. Silver, you need the 7-Eleven Asset Protection Team.

7-Eleven is the largest convenience store chain and is owned by Tokyo-based Seven and I Holdings, the fifth largest retailer in the world. This company lops off franchise owners with the steely precision of a Hattori Hanso Samurai sword. Their domestic forces are headed by West Point graduates, with Joseph DePinto as their Commanding Officer. Their Centralized Investigations Team (CIT) and covert mobile surveillance crew are unrivalled in terminating franchise owners with extreme prejudice.

Please refer to the many successful termination accounts detailed on UnhappyFranchisee.Com. These badasses are seizing franchises from long-time owners around the country and not paying them a dime – sometimes seizing multiple stores at a time.

Pay special attention to the wonderful story of Dev, Dilip & Saroj Patel (“7-Eleven Stole Our Store”) whose franchise ownership was terminated in a single day. Heck, they didn’t need incriminating audio and racist remarks to take away the Patel’s franchise of 19 years. They took away their franchise in a single meeting over supposedly “fraudulent” Slurpee coupons! I mean, these guys are that GOOD.

While the 7-Eleven Asset Protection Team is primarily an internal unit, I am confident that I can negotiate the hiring of them for this special project. I will be happy to provide an introduction to CEO DePinto and negotiate the deployment of the Centralized Investigations Team (CIT) to oust Sterling.

My fee is 20% of the consulting and services package, payable by the NBA.

I look forward to receiving your call,

.

Richard Quick, Esq.

Founding Partner, Quick, Duhk & Hyde

Franchisor blogger at UnhappyFranchisee.Com

Quick, Duhk & Hyde is the oldest, largest and most respected fictional law firm specializing in franchise development, franchisee recruitment, franchisee termination and litigation in the world. All major credit cards accepted.

Simultaneously, Mr. Quick, Esq. proposed working with Joe DePinto to help 7-Eleven develop a lucrative franchisee-termination program using its elite Asset Protection team.

QUICK, DUHK & HYDE

Attorneys at Law

Joseph DePinto

President & Chief Executive Officer

7-Eleven, Inc.

One Arts Plaza

1722 Routh St., Suite 1000

Dallas, TX 75201

May 1, 2014

Dear Joe:

You’ve no doubt been following the NBA’s announcement that they are going to try to terminate the franchise of our pal Donald Sterling. We both know that the NBA has no experience terminating franchise owners, and are no match for the cantankerous billionaire and his legal team. The protracted battle Sterling will cause will take a heavy toll from both a financial and public relations standpoint. They have an expensive mess on their hands… which spells opportunity for you and I.

Quick Duhk and Hyde Law FirmThe NBA desperately needs a Winston Wolf… the tuxedoed fixer in Pulp Fiction. When the mob has a mess on its hands, they call Mr. Wolf and he calmly and professionally fixes the situation, no matter how bad.

Joe, you and the 7-Eleven Asset Protection team could be the NBA’s Winston Wolf. No one can terminate franchise owners with the speed and cold efficiency as you and your 7-Eleven team.

I have taken the liberty of reaching out to NBA commissioner Adam Silver (see attached letter) to propose that the NBA subcontract 7-Eleven Asset Protection to terminate Sterling’s franchise ownership with extreme prejudice. To erase any doubt as to 7-Eleven’s badass efficiency, I referred Mr. Silver to the first-hand accounts posted to that wailing wall of terminated franchisees, UnhappyFranchisee.Com. I directed him to pay special attention to the seizure of Dev, Dilip and Saroj Patel’s Riverside, CA franchise (“7-Eleven Stole Our Store”) . I think it’s your masterpiece!

You didn’t even have racist comments or a public outcry against the Patels to work with. In fact, their customers and community loved them. Yet the 7-Eleven Asset Protection Team was able to force them to sign away their franchise of 19 years in a single 8-hour interrogation session… Over fraudulent redemption of Slurpee coupons, no less! (Nice touch, by the way). If you can take away the franchise of the beloved and sympathetic Patel family in a single day, ousting Sterling should be a piece of cake!

With the success story of ousting Sterling under our belts, we can offer 7-Eleven’s franchise termination services to other sports leagues. After league owners learn that they can seize owner equity and goodwill and generate new franchise fees like 7-Eleven, Inc. does, there will be hundreds of millions to be made booting baseball owners, defranchising football owners, screwing soccer team owners, nuking NHL owners, retiring racing teams… the opportunities are endless.

My brokerage fee will be a modest 20%, payable by 7-Eleven, Inc.

Hopefully, bringing you this new profit stream will be enough to repair relations between Seven and I Holdings CEO Toshifumi Suzuki and myself, and restore the relationship between 7-Eleven, Inc. and Quick, Duhk & Hyde, the largest and most respected fictional law firm specializing in franchise development, franchisee recruitment, termination, collections and litigation. We worked well together, and it’s unfortunate to let a single slip of the tongue sever such a mutually profitable relationship.

To terminating lots of franchisees and making a killing…

.

Richard Quick, Esq.

Senior Partner, Quick, Duhk & Hyde

Franchisor blogger at UnhappyFranchisee.Com

.

P.S. Please express my apologies once again to Mr. Suzuki for my poor attempt at the Japanese language and the ill feelings it caused. If I had known that seppaku was not a form of sushi, I never would have suggested it for his family gathering.

Quick, Duhk & Hyde is the oldest, largest and most respected fictional law firm specializing in franchise development, franchisee recruitment, franchisee termination and litigation in the world. All major credit cards accepted.

Millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. is the founder of the law firm of Quick, Duhk & Hyde and conducts most of his business from his yacht in International Boundary Waters. 

Mr. Quick has joined UnhappyFranchisee.Com as a guest columnist satirically representing the opinions of predatory franchisors and IFA executives.

Also read:

7-ELEVEN on UnhappyFranchisee.Com

7-Eleven Franchise Complaints

7-ELEVEN Franchise Owner Claims Franchisees Are Being Bullied

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK? CAN 7-ELEVEN INC. SOLVE THE NBA’S STERLING-SILVER DISPUTE?

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Contact UnhappyFranchisee.com

TAGS: Donald Sterling, LA Clippers, NBA, Adam Silver, 7-Eleven, 7-Eleven franchise, 7-11 franchise, 7-11 Riverside CA, 7-Eleven litigation, 7-eleven franchise complaints, Dev Patel, Dilip Patel, Saroj Patel, Richard Quick Esq., Get Rich Quick

3 thoughts on “Will 7-Eleven Help Terminate Donald Sterling’s NBA Franchise?

  • May 1, 2014 at 9:42 am
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    @All, This is Brilliant on Numerous Levels! I have another opportunity/thought process, 7-11, Donald Sterling could both Hire the P/R Brains at Lathrop and Gage! I am 100% positive that Matt Jacober should have little to nothing to do after June 30, 2014 as his primary client Stratus Franchising, LLC. will either be dissolved or probably in BK.

    It took Matt and Lathrop and Gage approx. 2 Years to turn a 100 million dollar per year company into ZERO!. Sterling has approx. 1.9 Billion dollars in Assets, at Lathrop and Gage’s billing rate, multiplied by the sheer lunacy by which they handle P/R work, I project per my calculator that they should have Donald in BK by 2020 at the latest!

    Just a little food for thought!

  • May 1, 2014 at 6:45 pm
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    What is funnier is 7-11 uses L & G for some legal work related to stores in certain midwestern states. Often the work is sloppy and runs up the billing clock.

  • May 2, 2014 at 6:53 am
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    @Laughing Boy, WOW! Here I was just trying to be Funny and the Reality happens to be the Truth….Lathrop and Gage is already on the case for 7-11, this should be a GREAT OPPORTUNITY for Matt Jacober and his Crack Pot (sorry, I keep getting it wrong phrase, Cracker Jack TEAM) of P/R department to handle this situation Post Haste. There is time a wastin and plenty of money to collect/bill/steal from 7-11! Now if they can only figure a way to get to Donald Sterling……

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