CUPPY’S COFFEE Poetry Festival!
This Cuppy’s Coffee Poetry Festival page was inspired by the poetry of Cuppy’s founder Robert “Morg” Morgan (now known as raw food guru Rawman Walking). Rawman took to writing poetry to unwind after the stress of selling and abandoning nearly 300 now debt-laden franchisees. We invited the franchisees to relieve some stress and submit some Cuppy’s poetry of their own. Since they can no longer afford basic cable, TVs or other distractions, the contributions started flowing immediately.
Want to contribute some bad Cuppy’s poetry? Just paste it in the comment box below.
Ode to Rawman
by Carl Scamburg
I hope that Morg will never see
The payment of a franchise fee
Or franchisees hoodwinked to pay
Him money from the SBA.
But Rawman’s sweet as vegan honey
When he’s asking for your money.
And Twitter ladies are in awe
When Bobby says to eat it raw.
Now if you believe Morgan’s dictum
Just like you, poor Morgue’s a victim
But we all know Rawman should dwell
In buddy Royboy Snowden’s cell.
It’s a great day at Cuppy’s…
by Slamming poetry like a bad espresso shot
It’s a great day at Cuppy’s, on my dime of course.
Getting an answer from you is like beating a horse.
You kick and make noise and I’ll get hurt.
Now there is nothing to stop me from losing my shirt.
Can’t be consoled by my Coffee College plaque.
But I’ll hire a lawyer to get the bank off my back.
The smell of coffee makes me sick now, the sound of a blender, faint.
And rawman has aspirations of becoming a saint!
Put the days of Slender Lady, Elite and Cuppy’s behind him.
Helping ladies of all ages become vegan and, their wallets, slim.
Caveat emptor, don’t say that you weren’t warned.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!
What’s left to do after pleading but cry?
It’s a great day at Cuppy’s, drop dead and goodbye.
| Thanks for showing me the way rawman
by I’m a poet and I didn’t know it! Thanks for showing me the way rawman: Criticizing Morg, I feel like a clown For liberating us from our money which was weighing us down We’re raw and free ‘cuz we can’t afford meat We’re hot with no A/C and we turn down the heat I wish you the luck you deserve for you, your family and your crew Some advice for next time, don’t forget to kiss when you screw |
I once knew a bloke named Nabors
by Keats I once knew a bloke named Nabors, who promised many, many favors. He took my cash, and then said “kiss my ass”, and proceeded to buy Coach bags in many different flavors. There once was a sales director named Ben by Irish Zee There once was a sales director named Ben |
| Shining Star
by Shining Star You said I had a gorgeous smile. You said you needed a special kind of person. Now your constellation went over the event horizon. Roy, Morg and Dale by Ben Dover-Morgan Roy, Morg and Dale, |
Bobby’s my man
by Pablo Gotscreweda Bobby’s my man He’s the rawman! His libido No es perdido! Unlike my cash Where’s the stash? And with his bud Ben Hide the women! They make quiet a pair And don’t despair! They’re around for a while You’ll see them at the trial! And maybe on TV If we’re lucky! And they are getting bolder, Bobby and Ben, shoulder to shoulder. |
| Do the Morg-y Porg-y
by Nale Dabors, sung to the tune of the hokey pokey Take deposits in! Put no refunds out! |
There once was a difficult zee,
by Irish Zee There once was a difficult zee, Thus spoke a con-sultant named Dale by Nale Dabors Thus spoke a con-sultant named Dale: |
| Please send in the check
by Slamming poetry like a bad espresso shot, dedicated to “the enablers, um employees, at Cuppy’s” It’s a great day at Cuppy’s, please send in your check. |
Bernie and Morg
by I’m a poet and I didn’t know it! Bernie and Morg, they made it a family affair. They stand by their man to the disbelief of all, What happened to Hibbing, aka Cuppy’s head. |
SUBMIT A POEM OR COMMENT BELOW!
This one is dedicated to the enablers, um employees, at Cuppy’s:
It’s a great day at Cuppy’s, please send in your check.
The money, quick, our books are a wreck.
You’ll get your build-out and equipment, maybe, eventually.
Oh, that would mean we perform intentionally?
We’re told to just say busy in a meeting or I will look.
I’m beginning to think my boss is a crook.
But everyone is smiling and today is payday.
We get drinks for free, make it a mocha today.
Placing orders is easy, what’s the complaining about?
When we don’t pay our vendors, they start to pout.
Our credit is established on a basis of trust.
On a signature, on our word, collateral, if you must.
We’re blowing it at Cuppy’s, the vendors have seized.
What was in slow motion has totally freezed.
But everyone is smiling and the paycheck hasn’t bounced.
Morg is scared to walk outside, the servers may pounce.
I need this job, the daycare and Morg’s approval too.
I won’t go to the authorities whatever I do.
This good feeling at Cuppy’s can’t possibly last.
It’s a great day at Cuppy’s, send your money in fast.
Thus spoke a con-sultant named Dale:
“Do these things and you never can fail:
Just Believe & Succeed
Don’t be greedy like me
And don’t try to put me in jail!”
Here’s one that can be sung to the hokey pokey:
Do the Morg-y Porg-y
Take deposits in! Put no refunds out!
Take disbursements in!
And you shake it all about!
You do the Morg-y Porg-y
And you blame somebody else.
That’s what it’s all about!
There once was a difficult zee,
Who had the nerve to complain endlessly.
About a buildout that was delayed,
Though the invoice was paid.
A scam executed almost flawlessly.
Bernie and Morg, they made it a family affair.
It’s too late for Madoff but to make you aware.
Bobby has loved and lost, and loved, lost, loved some more,
If he was a woman, you would call him a whore.
And his “investors” return was despair.
They stand by their man to the disbelief of all,
Can’t say that they hate him, they had a ball, afterall.
It was a great day at Cuppy’s, they did a job and they got paid.
Lose a job, get unemployment or some other aid.
For the duped zees, well, they’re in it for the long haul.
What happened to Hibbing, aka Cuppy’s head.
He was prez after all, although easily led.
Others say he was pithed,
If you catch my drift.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Rawman has stopped broadcasting messages on Twitter.
I hope he hasn’t curled up, eating meat, and becoming bitter
When people send money out,
Get nothing in return, it’s worth hearing about.
And certainly Sean Kelly’s not a quitter!
Rawman has stopped broadcasting messages on Twitter.
I hope he hasn’t curled up, is eating meat, and becoming bitter
When people send money out,
Get nothing in return, it’s worth hearing about.
And certainly Sean Kelly’s not a quitter!
I am reading some things that are making me sick.
Morg in the backroom with young girls, that’s totally ick!
As far as I can see,
no sexual harassment policy.
So not only a thief but a prick.
Morg-y Porg-y
Morg-y Porg-y
Raw food pie
Tweeted the girls
& made them die-t
When the Zee’s came out to play
Rawman ran – not walked – away
McDonald’s mocha really isn’t all that bad, but it costs way too much considering that it’s from McDonald’s.