CORK & OLIVE: Probst Prison Wine (Humor)


The folks over at FranWorst.com are dedicated to celebrating the worst franchise opportunities and the worst product ideas in franchising. They have asked Unhappy Franchisee and Franchise Pick readers to serve as a focus group for a potential new line of wines based on the Olde World tradition of handmade prison wine. For decades, prisoners have made their own wine by mixing common ingredients such as stale bread, fruit, ketchup, and sugar in their cell toilets and fermenting each batch in plastic garbage bags.
CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE.

If Cork & Olive’s wine connoisseur Michael Probst were to go to prison, the collaboration between this reknowned wine retailer and resident prison winemakers (many of whom have spend 30 years, 40 years to life perfecting their craft) could spark a renaissance in prison wine and create a whole new wine niche.

The market for this wine would be both ex-inmates and parolees who developed a taste for this vintage but haven’t been able to purchase it since their release, and fine wine drinkers who realize the quality produced by those who could get shanked for a single bad bottle.

Cork & Olive stores would be given priority purchasing tights and even have the option of private labeling some of the specialty lines, like San Quentin Reserve, Cell Block C, Lifer’s Liebfraumilch and the specially aged 20 to Life.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? WOULD YOU BUY/SELL PROBST PREMIERE PRISON WINE?

18 thoughts on “CORK & OLIVE: Probst Prison Wine (Humor)

  • June 27, 2008 at 5:49 pm
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    I LOVE IT!

    Thank you for making me laugh. Picturing Probst drinking from the tolet would be a dream come true..
    Remember “don’t drop the soap”

  • June 27, 2008 at 6:27 pm
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    omg…you guys are toooo funny!!

  • June 27, 2008 at 6:31 pm
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    omg… THIS IS FRIGGIN CLASSIC!!! WHOMEVER CREATED THIS DESERVE A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE AND NOT FROM C&O!
    THANKS FOR BRINGING A SMILE TO MY FACE AS WELL…KEEP IT COMING!

  • June 28, 2008 at 1:32 am
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    PLEASE SEE MY NOTE ON THE REINER SEIZE ARTICLE.

    BUT, THIS IS A HOOT!!

  • June 28, 2008 at 1:38 am
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    I loved this! It’s not only funny, but very close to being true to life! Not if, but when Probst goes to jail, he will be such a low life, eating prison chow instead of his $300 dinners; how will he ever survive?

  • June 29, 2008 at 7:46 am
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    Does bring new meaning to the term “wine cooler”

  • June 30, 2008 at 2:06 am
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    First, I think we all have to praise “Wanda” for “her” wealth of information. Wanda, I am your biggest fan! I feel we may have been to a high class night club together before! If I recall, we have a deep appreciation for the service industry.

    Secondly, the deeply talented creator of Prison wine is my hero. As many of us go day-by-day looking for another job and trying to keep our financial security in tact after our kick to the curb, I think this website has helped some of us start to heal from the humilating slap in the face Probst, Nelson & Augenti dealt many of us.
    Nelson is a poor excuse for a business woman who deserves a lovely colored jump suit in the shade of orange. Of course her Woody Woodpecker tattoo on her behind will attract only the classiest of girlfriend behind bars. Probst is a slimy criminal who deserves nothing more then a small cell where they do not allow smoking, star bucks or a company credit card. Hopefully he will find a nice cell mate who appreciates small, smelly German men who allow gold diggers to influence their decisions. As for Augenti, anyone who really wants to know this woman should look no further then hell. Augenti is a gold digging, want-to-be Stephanie Nelson attached to Probst’s side. She is responsible for the firing of many hard working employees and had no problem selling more franchises when she knew the ship was sinking. She talked poorly of the corporate employees and has an extreme affection for trouble causing gossip. She is the original Gossip Girl.
    These three are the worst con artists I have ever had the displeasure of working for. I can only continue to hope the Franchisees will have a stronger future and that the corporate employees get the wages & benefits they worked so hard for. While these three continue on keeping their wallets fat, the rest of us are still trying to recover. It’s a very sad time when hard working employees feel duped for their loyalty and belief in someone else’s concept.
    Looking forward to a great show in court. I’ll bring the popcorn!

  • June 30, 2008 at 8:56 am
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    These situations bring to mind one of the great comebacks of all time. Supposedly, Lady Astor once chastized Winston Churchhill for being tipsy at a public function.
    Lady Astor said: “Mr. Churchill, you’re drunk!”
    “And you, Madam, are ugly,” Churchill replied. “But tomorrow, I
    shall be sober.”
    If you’ve been screwed over – either as an employee or as a franchisee – remember this: It might take months, a year or several years, but you will recover. Tomorrow, you will be wiser and stronger, and will move forward with nothing to be ashamed of . But them? Scumbags are scumbags forever.

  • June 30, 2008 at 9:01 am
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    Can’t resist adding this one:

    Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, I’d poison your tea.

    Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.

  • June 30, 2008 at 9:16 am
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    Former employee wrote: Nelson is a poor excuse for a business woman … Of course her Woody Woodpecker tattoo on her behind will attract only the classiest of girlfriend…
    I know that this will jeopardize my status as hero, but Woody on the buttock is just plain hot. Steph is getting interesting. How do you know about it? Have you seen it? Which cheek? Is it like Nicholas’ Cage’s WW tattoo in Raising Arizona (head only)? Or full body WW?

  • June 30, 2008 at 9:20 am
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    you couldn’t help but see the WOODY when she wore her white pants and on the right cheek! LOL woody is the name of her boyfriend hence the woodpecker! lol

  • June 30, 2008 at 9:35 am
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    Does it look like this, by any chance:
    Steph's Tattoo???

  • June 30, 2008 at 9:47 am
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    OMG That is a classic! I love your sense of humor ADMIN! LOL

  • June 30, 2008 at 10:35 am
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    Admin….hilarious!! I doubt the woodpecker tattoo is that hot because her boyfriend has yet to man up and marry her after 5 years. :-) I am pretty confident when she wore her white pants she knew everyone could see it too. I wonder what tattoo Probst will get in prison? Do you have any suggestions?

  • June 30, 2008 at 10:38 pm
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    Wow, you guys must have been doin’ some serious lookin’ at Nelson’s butt to know all of this! I never noticed, cuz I don’t swing that side, but you go “girl”, “guy”!!!

  • June 30, 2008 at 10:43 pm
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    Hey, sounds like Deborah to me, too!! I think she’s getting a wittle bit scared cuz she knows that she will most likely be implecated in the TRIAL!!

  • July 1, 2008 at 1:35 pm
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    Anyone willing to spill again what they know. Just list by number what you know for a fact each person has done. Do you have documents, proof? (if so, keep it safe)
    Yes, this is Wanda just want everything listed. Makes it easier for officials.

    1.
    2.
    3.
    4.
    5.

  • July 3, 2008 at 3:36 pm
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    Makes it easier for officials.

    1. P 1. N
    2. R 2. E
    3. O 3. L
    4. B 4. S
    5. S 5. O
    6. T 6. N

    COINCIDENCE? I think not.

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